


Forget Me Not

by RedSnow1



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Children of Characters, Communication, F/M, Fic Exchange, Goodbyes, Love Confessions, Married Couple, Married Life, Memory Related, Open to Interpretation, Parenthood, Sacrifice, Sad Ending, True Love, War with Grindelwald, dorset, newtina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 03:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19898926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSnow1/pseuds/RedSnow1
Summary: Porpentina Scamander is surrounded by her enemies with no way to escape. When it all comes down to saving her family, she is ready to do whatever it takes… Even if it means never seeing them again.





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nakahisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakahisa/gifts).



> Hey friends !
> 
> I know this was not planned, I only made the announcement a couple of hours ago but here is a new story I have been working on for a while. It's a one chapter story, and I don't think I shall ever write another chapter for it. We never know, of course, but I quite like the open ending :D
> 
> Anyway, this story is a gift to @Nakahisa, my beta ! I was so happy when I was picked to write for you for this fanfiction exchange, especially after all the help you have given me with my various fanfictions.  
> Thank you for being awesome ! I hope you will like this very very angsty story I cooked up for you <3
> 
> For this story, I was betaed by the amazing @moonstruckfool who has worked so hard to make this story as it is ! Thank you honey for your time, your advice and your input <3 You are amazing !
> 
> I hope you will all enjoy it, and please let me know what you thought about it <3

They were coming for her and she knew it. She had been expecting it for a while now, and dreaded the day it happened.

They had found her at last and there was no point in running. 

They had found her hiding spot; she had never doubted that they would. They had put a trace on her during their last fight and whenever she performed magic, they could be aware of her whereabouts. She could not shake them off forever anyway. They were too many of them; they were stronger in number. She had accepted her fate: she had lost.

Porpentina Scamander shivered, clutching her coat tighter against herself, her teeth chattering from the cold. Or maybe she was petrified by fear. She could hear their steps above her head, their frustrations as they knocked down vases and furniture, hoping to find her hiding behind one of them. From the sound of it, there were a dozen of wizards, all of them looking out for her. 

Her, the one who had escaped. 

The one they wanted to get ahold of. 

The one that could unveil Dumbledore’s secret plan.

It had all begun a few months ago, when she had accepted an offer to go on a mission abroad. Her task was to collect information about how to break the blood pact and she had taken with her a handful of Aurors. Only people she trusted. This was not supposed to be a difficult mission; find the source, get a testimony, go home. It was supposed to be as simple as that. Of course, Grindelwald’s followers were after this knowledge as well, which had made it all unexpectedly complicated. They had been tracking her for weeks — she had noticed, of course, and tried to mislead them, leave them behind. She had succeeded for a while. Tina had done her best to cover their tracks, all the way through Italy, where they knew they would find a solution to their problem. There was a woman there, who had managed to break her own blood pact with her sister; her testimony would help them understand how it worked and perhaps end the raging war that had killed and continued to kill too many innocent souls. Tina was confident they would manage to retrieve the information in no time, and perhaps she shouldn't have underestimated their enemies.

When they had arrived, the woman was dead; tortured, bloody. She was rather old, and her silvery hair was speckled with blood, the whites of her eyes barely visible under her wrinkled eyelids, her wand clasped in her hand. Grindelwald had gotten to her first. And the enemy was waiting for them. That night, Grindelwald’s fanatics had attacked their team, ambushed them in their hiding place. Tina had lost track of them and had thought that once their target was killed, they would have backed away… How foolish. All of them Aurors had been either killed or captured — were they all dead now? After all, they were expendable to them. Porpentina Scamander knew that she was the one who was being targeted for her relationship with Dumbledore. The others, the rest of the team, didn’t know about the importance of their task; she hadn’t told more than what was necessary. Had they spilled the few secrets they knew? 

Only she had managed to escape. She had tried to defend the team she was leading, wanting to go down with them. She escaped. Not because of luck, not because of skill, but because of her sister’s regrets. As she was trying to save the youngest of the team, Millie Thompson — In vain, she had stumbled upon her most feared rival: her own blood. Wand drawn, Tina Scamander had hesitated, and so had her sister. Millie’s body had fallen between the two of them, frozen in the middle of this mess, ducking the spells.

And Queenie had let her go. Queenie had raised her wand to immobilize her — Tina knew she would never want to hurt her — and something had passed inside of her eyes. Pain. Fear. Love… Taking advantage of her sibling’s confusion, Tina had Disapparated. Queenie Goldstein could have easily stopped her but she had chosen to let her go… only to get her later on. She had let her go so that she wouldn’t have to be the one to hurt her. _Coward_ , Tina thought.

The noise upstairs stopped, and for a moment, she wondered whether they had given up. The entrance to the cellar she was hiding in was precariously concealed behind sacks of potatoes that she had carefully moved to cover her hideout. She shrugged. It was them, and she knew it. They would not give up anytime soon. They knew she was here and it was only a matter of time before they got ahold of her. They had probably cast numerous spells to avoid her from running away this time, and there was no point in trying. The woman grasped her wand, shuffling backward until her back touched the cold, hard wall in the corner of the cellar. She would be safe — for the time being.

“Salvio hexia … Protego totalum…” She whispered, conjuring a little protective bubble around herself. These spells alone would let them know where she was; she didn’t care. All she needed was time. Her hand was shaking, her entire body frozen.

It would not hold in front of their dark spells : they were too powerful, being taught by the darkest wizard in all history, but it would buy her some time. Time she desperately needed.

It was over.

The woman fell on the floor, shaking, pulling out of her pocket a torn and tattered photograph and clutching a very empty travel bag against her chest. Her food supplies were running low, she didn’t have any water left. She hadn’t eaten anything in days, hadn’t slept properly since she left home. What was the point in running ? She would not go far. She sighed. The room was dark, her face illuminated by the dimmed shimmer at the tip of her wand. Her face was hollow and dirty — she looked sick, malnourished even, and most certainly worried. Her clothes were ruined, covered in blood — probably belonging to her team of Aurors. Her beautiful eyes were shimmering with tears and she took a deep breath, admiring the moving photograph.

The picture had been taken a few weeks before she had left for Italy. The brunette was standing proudly in the garden of her house in Dorset, holding her year-old daughter in her arms. The little girl had dark curly hair and greenish eyes, a perfect mixture of both of her parents. She had this innocence she had inherited from her father, and yet such determination on her young chubby face. Her tiny arms were curled around her mother's neck as her head rested on the top of her chest, she was smiling at the camera. She was beautiful. Tina's husband, Newt Scamander, was by her side, holding her hand, the other placed on their oldest son’s shoulders proudly. The boy was the spitting image of the magizoologist; tall despite the fact that he was only four years old, tousled light brown hair, dark eyes he had inherited from her — to Newt’s delight. He was a dreamy boy who enjoyed to read and follow Newt around, mending beasts with him. The boy seemed lost in his thoughts — and she found herself chuckling, finding in his features some characteristics of the man she had married.

Tina smiled and the tip of her finger traced the outline of her family’s faces, lingering on the children’s cheeks, missing their warmth and their love. Her dark eyes focused on her husband, beaming, happier than he had ever been. Her heart clenched violently and she began to sob, her hand tightening around the photograph. What wouldn’t she give to talk to them once more ? What wouldn’t she give to hold their tiny bodies against her own ?

For a moment she regretted not having said goodbye to them. She had told the children she was going away for work and only Newt was aware of her whereabouts. Only Newt knew the risks — risks she had chosen to ignore. It was supposed to be an easy mission, otherwise she wouldn’t have accepted. Well, no, it wasn’t true. She would have because it was no longer for herself that she fought, but for the family she had built, to offer them a safer, better future. But had she known, she would have told her baby boy and girl how much she loved them, and she would have held them tight in case it were the last time.

_Mama will come back soon, I promise._

Lies. It was all lies now. Tina would not be home soon — probably not ever. And her children would be waiting for her at home, unaware of why their mother was missing.

Wiping away the tears she hadn’t meant to spill, she pulled out of her bag a book whose cover was dusty and worn, courtesy of her friend, Nicolas Flamel. She expertly turned the pages, knowing exactly was she was searching for. A picture. Not just any picture. The one that would allow her to talk to her husband, waiting for her so many miles away — oblivious to the fact that she would not return home. She stopped; she had found it. Immediately, Newt Scamander’s beautiful face appeared in front of her; she suppressed a sob.

“Honey, are you alright ?” He immediately asked, concerned.

It had been days since she had last contacted him; the attack, her running away — she hadn’t found time and hadn’t wanted to scare him. And she wanted to let him know about what happened, to share her feelings. Her heart clenched upon remembering that it was most probably the last time she got to see his beautiful face. His light green eyes. The numerous freckles that speckled his skin. There was just no time. She had to go straight to the point.

“I don’t have time for this Newt — They are here. They found me.” She whispered, tears clouding her sight.

His features contorted in pain and worry and the Auror wondered whether it had been a good idea to let him know. Perhaps, not knowing was best sometimes ? But they were no secrets between them, and as painful as it could be, for the two of them, she had to tell the truth. It was their worst nightmare. What they had dreaded for so long was finally happening and there was no stopping it.

“How ?” He croaked.

She wished she could explain the situation. She wanted to tell him how careless she had been, not realizing they had put a trace on her. How they had ambushed her and killed off her entire team. How Millie’s vacant eyes remained inked in her mind whenever she closed her eyes. 

It was all her fault.

She was supposed to call the shots. She should have seen it coming.

How had she missed it ?

She sighed.

Time was running out.

“It doesn’t matter how.”

Tears were dancing inside of Newt’s incredible green eyes and the witch had to summon all her strength not to follow him into this path of anguish. If only she hadn’t accepted this job. If only she had stayed home, with him… They would be cuddling near the fireplace, holding hands and contemplating their beautiful house in Dorset. But the world was burning under Grindelwald’s commands; neither of them could stay put. They had to do something. Anything.

_Whatever it takes_ , she thought.

“Tina —” He began.

He knew what was coming. _And it hurts so much._

And he wanted to prevent her from doing so. _Please, don’t._

Tina couldn’t blame him. If it were him, in her place, she would have done the same. _I would have done the same._

She hadn’t called him for that. _I’m sorry._

She had no choice. _I have to protect those I love._

She had called him to tell him. _Goodbye Newt._

“You know what I have to do.”

He nodded. There was pain all over his face. 

They had come to an agreement before she had left. 

They had both agreed that they would both do whatever it took to protect their family, and their innocent children. Dumbledore had been a great help allowing them to stay in his spare house in Dorset, increasing the security around the beach house so that no one could ever disturb them; it had become a safe haven for all of those who didn’t want to join Grindelwald.

The house was always full of life between the children running around the garden carelessly and the many inhabitants seeking shelter. 

Both Newt and Tina were keeper of the secret — only they could tell where the house was, where their plans laid.

The two of them were the key to getting to Dumbledore.

And so, they had both chosen to carry with them a solution to their problem if one of them was ever captured. Something that would prevent them from telling secrets they would never spill in the first place. But secrecy had a cost… and she was about to suffer its results.

“I want to see the kids. Are they — are they asleep ?” She sobbed, hoping deep down that for once, their adorable children would be awake, causing mayhem around the house.

“They have been for the last hour or so.”

Tina let a shaky sigh escape from her chapped and white lips. She watched as Newt led her to their bedroom, and appreciated the sight of this house she would probably never set foot in ever again. She saw the sofa and remembered the way they used to cuddle in there before bed, saw the kitchen counter where they had made love once. On the ground, there was a wooden elephant toy she knew her daughter adored more than anything.

All those memories… Her life and what made it so special would be gone soon and she couldn’t bring herself to do it just yet.

The door leading to the cellar opened, and Tina yelped, startled. They were getting closer and her concealment charm would not hold on much longer.

As if he knew what was going on, Newt lead her to the room where the soft faces of their progeny were illuminated by the little lamp on the side that was never shut off.

Liam, their oldest, was curled into a little ball on the side of her bed, holding his beloved stuffed toy against his heart. His brownish locks were slayed on the pillow, his mouth open to let out a sleepy breath. Tina noticed he was wearing the pajamas she had sent over for Christmas since she hadn’t been able to be there in person; they fitted him well. He looked like an angel when he was asleep, so peaceful and calm. Her head turned to the other side of the room where her dear Moira was moving in her crib, fighting off villains in her slumber, her fists held up, her legs kicking the wooden slats. _My little fighter_ , she thought. Her curly hair rested softly on her pillow, her features contorted with focus — She had grown so much while she was gone… Where had all this time gone ? Had she taken her first steps yet ? Last time she had managed to talk to her little girl, she had been able to say something oddly resembling the word ‘mama’. Somewhere on her face, Tina recognized something of Queenie’s. Perhaps the beautiful curls ? Maybe the innocence ? 

The girl let out soft whimpers that always amused her parents. Today, however, the smile painted on Tina’s face was bitter and burdened with the decision she had to make.

“They are beautiful…” She shakily whispered, clutching the photograph she always carried with her. “So beautiful, Newt. Look what we have made… They are perfect.”

She remembered the joy of finding out that she was pregnant. The way Newt had held her tight when she had told him. The tears of happiness in his eyes. The beautiful sight of her stomach swelling as the babies grew. Newt’s warm palm over it. Newt’s voice as he tried to communicate with the babies. Them dancing in the living room, her prominent stomach between them. The feeling of a baby moving within her, kicking inside of her abdomen. The marvelous moment she had been allowed to hold her newborns in her arms. Their first cry. Their first smile. She remembered rocking Moira to sleep, her tiny fist between her breasts and her head resting at the crook of her arm and how right it had felt. She remembered Liam cuddling with her when he had gotten sick, his fever so high she had been so scared she'd have to take him to the hospital. She remembered witnessing her son trying to soothe his sister’s cries at night when her first tooth started coming in.

Tina remembered Newt’s elation as he was playing with his two kids outside, Moira on his shoulders, chasing after Liam who was laughing. All those memories were dancing in front of her eyes, so far, so close and yet, she could no longer reach them.

Becoming parents had made their lives brighter. Had given them a better purpose. They were no longer fighting for themselves, but for their heirs as well. And it was everything. They were everything to her.

“Tell them that Mama loves them.” She began again, sobbing. “Tell them that no matter what happens, Mama will always love them. Tell them — please — tell them they are my world.”

Tina wiped angry tears from her face. She was shaking with all her might, sobbing loudly in this very cold cellar, alone, scared, knowing that her family was miles away. The woman would have given anything just to hold her children again, just to feel little Moira’s palm against her chest as she fell asleep in her arms. Anything to put her son to bed and read him one of his silliest bedtime stories. One last night next to the man she loved.

The man who had made her happy.

“Tina —” Newt tried again, his lips wobbling.

She raised her hand, and he closed his mouth. The brunette couldn’t hear what he had to say. She just couldn’t. Newt would make her doubt her choices, and right now, she could not afford that. Her family’s safety was in her hands and she could never put them in danger.

“Please — Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

He nodded silently, repressing his own tears. He was back in their living room now; the house was painfully quiet. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours and no words were needed. They both knew perfectly well what the other had in mind.

“I will find you.” He murmured after a while.

She chuckled sadly and placed her hand on the photograph, hoping that perhaps — she would be able to feel him. He knew where she was and there was no doubt he would fight to get her back. Would he ever ? Nothing was sure anymore. After all, maybe they wanted to kill her — especially if she had no information to give them.

“I know.” She simply said.

And it felt more of a reassurance for herself.

“I will cure you. No matter what it takes.” He said, louder this time.

_There is no cure. There is nothing you can do._

_Thank you for trying. For fighting for me. For us. For our family._

_It is perhaps — one of the things I love most about you, Newton Scamander._

“I know.” She lied again.

There was another pause. Porpentina Scamander didn’t dare meet her husband’s eyes, afraid to tumble and fall once more. Afraid to lose faith. They had prepared themselves for this scenario. Why was it this hard ? Why couldn’t she let go ?

She now understood the wise words of her former director, Percival Graves.

_We Aurors, are lonely. Most of us anyway. We don’t get attached. We don’t get married or start a family. It’s too much of a risk. They are easy targets. Emotions make us vulnerable. They are a liability. We can’t hesitate, Goldstein. Not when the world is relying on us. Do you understand ? No matter what it takes. Do you think you can do that, Goldstein ?_

She now understood the meaning of it all. Newt, Liam, Moira, even Queenie and Jacob… They were her weakness and her strength. They pushed her forward, made her want to become a better person and yet... If anything happened to them — anything at all… She wouldn’t be able to survive it.

“Tina — I love you — I always have. Always will. No matter what.”

“I love you too, Newt.”

Three words could not express what she felt for him. It was more than love — it was even deeper than that. Newton Scamander was her entire world, he was her happiness. 

He was the first face she saw every morning. The last when she fell asleep. And she had a thousand things to tell him, a thousand robbed moments she had wanted to live at his side. 

Tina thought about all those conversations they had had before about growing old together.

About adopting new Kneazles. Hoppy, Milly and Mauler.

About accompanying their children to the Hogwarts Express and waving goodbye. About finding out in which houses they had been put. Their bet, so far, was Hufflepuff for Liam, and Gryffindor for Moira.

She was robbed of all of that. They were robbed of their lives.

Tina wanted to scream, to break everything around her out of anger. Steps were right at the doorway, incantations were about to be muttered. Her spells would be broken and then… She would be at their mercy. It was over.

She couldn’t have him witness that.

“They are coming…” She whispered. “I have to go.”

She didn’t want to go. _I have to._

She didn’t want to leave him alone with their children. _What if I never come back?_

She didn’t have a choice. Didn’t she ?

_War_ , she thought, _takes everything you love. And more._

“TINA!” Newt screamed, beginning her not to go -- not so soon. Not without a proper farewell.

She didn’t say goodbye, nor she let him do it. She refused to believe that it was the end. They would see each other again, one way or another. Instead, she just closed the book, her chest jolting and performed a spell quickly. They couldn’t find out that she had been passing information. They couldn’t find out where her husband was — and she would never tell them the location of their safe-house. No. Not even torture would break her.

With a flick of her wrist, the only connection possible between her and her husband was destroyed and she watched as the pages burnt slowly but steadily. There was no turning back now. Her dark eyes settled on the fire in front of her; the warmth of the flames helped her to regain some courage, the dance of the blaze soothing in some way. She knew what had to be done and she was finally ready to do it. All she had to remember was that it was for the greater good. Her children’s futures. There was no better reason to fight.

Closing her eyes, Porpentina Scamander focused on Liam and Moira’s features, clutching her photograph against her chest. She remembered their laughter, remembered what it felt to hold them close and soon, her heart was filled with happy butterflies. She could do it.

For them.

For a better, safer future.

For the future generations.

For love.

With a shaky hand, she took the blue vial out of her bag and stared at it. It was not the first time she had come across it; its power was immense. Newt had expressly said that would work and it was perhaps what scared her the most. She couldn’t believe that a single potion was the answer to all of her worries. One potion, and all of her memories would be erased. She sighed, uncorking it.

She froze. She was scared. It was harder than fighting villains.

_Your mind might not remember, but your heart always will._

_Your heart always will._

She kept on repeating to herself as she gulped the beverage in one go.

She held onto her photograph and closed her eyes, letting her thoughts go blank.

And she smiled.

The door burst open.

They found her on the floor, the vial broken in front of her.


End file.
